Here's the last one for a while. Don't want to open all your presents at once, do you.
1. What is your best friends dads name?
Well, probably one of his chums from his time in India. Chaps can become the greatest of friends, sipping G&T whilst the sun doesn't set on her Majesty's Empire.
2. What body part(s) do you hate?
Whilst I wouldn't disparage any anatomical appendage, all have their job, you know. But if this dashed liver could be a touch more effective then I'd save myself quite a portion of inconvenience.
4. Have you ever made out in a basement?
I once had to make it out of a basement. Damn opium dens and their attempts upon a chap. Always go to a Chinaman's. They know what's what.
5. What body part do you wash first in the shower?
Hardly the sort thing one asks of polite society.
6. Do you have any piercings?
No. I think they're best left to the savages. They seem to be happy enough with them.
7. Do you have any tattoos?
I'm an Army man, dear fellow, not the Navy.
8. Is your driveway steep?
Some of the nags have a problem with it in the winter. I've never been troubled by it.
9. What 's your favorite flavored Pringles
Until they provide a Quails egg option, or possibly grouse, I'm not interested.
10. Have you ever been tied up?
Once, in Africa. Fortunately, my British Passport fell out of my breast pocket. That took the wind out of their sails, I can tell.
11. What was the worst thing you ever got grounded for?
I've not had this problem. Although I did shoot a bally huge hole in one of the oils on the wall in the library. Always check that your blunderbuss is empty before you give the old gal a good cleaning.
12. Have you ever had two dates in one night?
One never overdoes his calendar. I mean, two 6 course meals in an evening is a touch much.
13.How many times have you been cursed at?
More than I care to remember. Most of it has been in some foreign tongue. Dashed impudent.
14. Which foot do you put a shoe on first?
Answering such a question would be a folly for both of us.
15. How old are you?
58 and strong as an ox.
16. Have you ever been to a gay bar?
Several gay bars. All over the world. But the Gayest is the Grumbles gentlemen's club in London.
17. Have you ever had any Friends with Benefits?
No. All of my friends have their own inherited fortunes. And a serviceman's pension comes in handy.
18. Is there one thing that you have always fell in love with in a person?
I appreciate a good arse on a woman. Highly appreciate it.
20. Have you ever been cow-tipping?
Foolish schoolboy nonsense. A spell in the services would do them a power of good.
21. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?
Britannia. God bless her.
22. Have you ever had a song written about you?
Only one the privates in India penned about me. Bit of fun. I pity a man who can't take a bit of ribbing from a group of younger chaps.
23. If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets or your towel ever, which one?
Not the sort of thing that's up to me. The maids would hear about it pretty dashed quick.
24. Have you ever found anything in your parents bedroom that was questionable?
Nothing of the sort.
25. What was your childhood nickname?
Boy.
26. When is the last time you sang a song?
When I went back to see my old University chums.
27. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sex's locker room?
What on this green and pleasant land would a gel want a locker for?
28. What's the craziest thing you have done while driving?
Took a shot at a huge bull elephant. Sizeable bugger, he was. As handsome a chap as I've ever tried to shoot.
30. How do you normally eat your Oreo cookies?
Are those the chaps you stuff pheasant with?
32. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?
Well by the second bottle of after dinner port I do find myself a touch red in the nose.
33. Why are you doing this survey?
Waiting for the bally steamboat back to Blighty.
34. What was the best thing that ever happened to you?
Being born into such opulence.
35. Any strange phobias?
Never been keen on the old mosquito since Spadger and Dobbs bought it from the big M.
36. Have you ever stuck an object up your nose
Nonsense. I'm far to clever.
37. When's the last time you threw up?
I threw a ball up during my cricket days. Those Indians knew what they were doing with a bat, I can tell you. HOWZATT!
38. Have you ever called your love interest by another girl/guys name?
I can barely remember the old gal's name as it is. So I generally call her 'Old gal'.
39. Have you ever gotten caught sleeping while on a date?
As an Englishman, I'm used to staying alert for that kind of affair. Dashed impolite is what that is.
40. Have you ever played naked Twister?
Is that one of the native things. They seem to do everything naked. Still, damned hard workers the lot of them. Best of luck to them.
41. Have you ever been drunk at work/school?
My dear fellow, it's not work or school if you haven't had one or two. Youngsters, these days!
Until next time I sign off with the 2 commandments...
Be Excellent To Each Other.
Party On, Dudes
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